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A Body Back Journey - Week 1

Driving to my first Body Back session last Monday, I had no idea what to expect, and I was a little terrified. What if I was the biggest girl there? What if everyone else was in great shape and I couldn’t even do a pushup on my toes? What if they asked me to run a mile and I laid down on the sidewalk and cried? What if I just didn’t have it in me, whatever this Body Back program was? I pulled up to the park, alongside a small group of friendly-looking women whose momma bodies didn’t look that different from mine, and I breathed a sigh of relief. Even if I cried on the sidewalk, at least these looked like women I could laugh about it with.

At 35, with my kids turning 5 and 8 years old, I am finally committed to taking my body back. I stepped on a scale at my doctor’s office in February, and I was shocked by the number. I weighed far more than I had when I got pregnant with my older son, and I could not stand my body. Every single place I went, my first instinct was to look around and see if I was the biggest woman in the room, and I never felt confident. I stayed active enough - hiking with my kids, playing tag at the park, getting outside whenever I could, but I was not modeling a healthy lifestyle or maintaining a healthy body for a long life with my kids.

My weight then was a wake-up call, and since February 2nd I have given up Diet Coke (it was like losing a best friend!), artificial sweeteners, and nearly all processed sugars. I started eating mindfully, finally tackling and treating a compulsive eating disorder I didn’t want to admit I had. And slowly but surely I hopped back on my treadmill and dedicated myself to some workout time. Since then, I have lost 46 lbs, more than 30 inches on my body, and I can run a mile for the first time in a good decade. I also had a hysterectomy just 7 weeks ago, and I have no doubt my (relatively) easy recovery is due to my overhauled lifestyle.

But, I’m only a little more than halfway to my 80lb weightloss goal, and it is time to step up the fitness so I can really be the fit, healthy, confident mom my sons need to grow up with. It’s time to finish taking my body back, and what better way to do it than with the support of women with the same goal of living a healthy lifestyle for their kids?

That first class, I stood in public in my leggings and a sports bra and took “before pictures”. I weighed in; assessed my quarter mile time, my squats, planks and side planks, pushups, and bicep curls; and recorded just how many inches of the measuring tape wrapped around my jiggly hips. I left with a video of Fit4Mom workouts, two journals for recording my eating and water intake, and the confidence that I probably could do this eight-week program after all.

The second class, admittedly, was hard as all get out. No assessments, all workout. Circuits with jumping jacks, squats, running, and burpees flew by in our hour in the park, and still I didn’t find myself laying on the ground in tears! I pushed myself – hard – because I had a group to be accountable to, and my lovely Body Back coaches, Laura and Melissa, reassuring me and every woman there that we could do it. I’m keeping track of my meals and following as many Body Back recipes as I can this week. Armed with my “best foods” shopping list and family meal plan for next week, I have no doubt I will feel a difference in my energy and core strength by Monday’s class! And I’ve traded in my fear of what will happen to me in a Body Back session for excitement about what my body will be able to do as I move forward.

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